Wedding planning

Wedding planning rarely comes apart on a bad decision. It comes apart on the order of the decisions. Three things govern almost everything else and have to be settled together rather than one after another — the date, the place and how many people. The guest number is the one couples leave open longest, and it is the one quietly deciding the rest: it rules venues out, multiplies every per-head cost and sets the pace of the day.

Then comes the paperwork, and it comes before the suppliers. In England and Wales a civil ceremony needs a venue approved for it, and notice has to be given at a register office before the date means anything; Scotland runs to its own rules, and in Ireland the registrar wants three months' notification. Only once that calendar holds do you book the things that can take one wedding a day: the venue, the registrar or celebrant, the photographer, the band.

Everything that is a product rather than a person can wait. Flowers, stationery, cake, favours, playlist — those are decided later, with suppliers who will still be there later. Start with the pretty half and the venue still free at the end will have made the choice for you.

What cannot be corrected afterwards is a short list: the date once the invitations are out, the venue once the deposit is paid, and the guest list once someone has been told they are invited. The rest — menu, seating, order of the day, the last alterations to the outfit — moves right up to the final weeks. Which is the other thing worth planning for: the work is not spread evenly, and those last weeks weigh far more than the months in front of them.