Reception

The reception is the longest part of the day and the only one whose course you steer only indirectly. What actually decides the mood is rarely the highlights but the transitions: the half hour between arrival and dinner, the time while you disappear for photographs, the moment the music changes. That is where lulls and early departures are made.

The second point is the shape of the evening. Speeches, games and set pieces compete with what most people came for — talking to each other. A few well-placed items carry an evening; many break it into waiting time between announcements.

And then there is the seating plan, which has more effect than its effort suggests. It decides who someone spends four hours with, and it is the only lever you have for making conversations more likely. This section treats running order, programme, food and seating as what they add up to: the question of how the evening feels.