The wedding veil: what it means and whether to wear one

The veil is the one bridal item that still makes people hesitate, because unlike shoes or jewellery it comes with a story attached, and the story is usually about obedience or purity.

The history is more mixed than that, and worth knowing before deciding. This article covers where the veil comes from, what lifting it is meant to signify, the main styles and lengths with rough prices, and the practical questions: wind, photographs, hair, and when to take it off.

Veiling at weddings long predates Christianity. Roman brides wore the flammeum, a flame-coloured veil, and covering the bride appears in Greek, Jewish and later European practice in various forms.

The meanings attached to it have never been stable. Depending on the century and the source, the veil has been explained as protection from ill wishes, as a marker of modesty, as a sign that the bride belonged to her family until the moment of the marriage, and as a purely decorative extension of the dress.

The specifically white, floor-length veil is much more recent, arriving with Queen Victoria's wedding in 1840 and the white dress it accompanied. Before that, veils were often coloured and were part of ordinary formal dress rather than a bridal item.

Two implications follow. First, the veil is genuinely ancient, which is unusual among wedding customs. Second, the meaning most often cited today is only one reading of many, and it is not the oldest.

A blusher is the short front layer worn over the face during the processional and lifted at the front of the ceremony.

Who lifts it varies. The traditional British and American form has the person walking the bride down the aisle lift it and step back; another has the partner lift it before the vows; another has the bride simply lift it herself, which is increasingly common and takes nothing away from the moment.

The Jewish custom of bedeken, in which the groom veils the bride before the ceremony, is often explained by the biblical story of Jacob, Leah and Rachel, and functions as a confirmation of identity. It is a separate tradition with its own logic rather than a variation of the Western blusher.

The face covering is entirely optional and always has been. Plenty of veils are worn from the back of the head with nothing over the face at all, which sidesteps the part of the tradition many people are uncomfortable with while keeping the look.

One practical note: a blusher over the face for a long processional means walking with reduced vision. Practise it once, particularly if there are steps.

Length is the main decision, and it is driven by the dress and the venue more than by formality.

Three guidelines that hold up. A veil longer than the dress train reads as intentional; a veil that stops just short of it reads as an accident. Heavy lace or a wide border needs a simpler dress underneath. And a cathedral veil in a small register office is out of proportion in a way photographs make obvious.

Fabric matters as much as length. Soft tulle floats and photographs well; stiffer tulle holds a shape but moves less; silk tulle drapes beautifully and costs several times as much. If you want the veil to lift in the wind, that is a fabric decision rather than a length one.

The veil causes more small problems than any other item, and all of them are predictable.

• Wind. Outdoors, a long veil will wrap around you and around the person next to you. Two extra pins and a plan to remove it after the ceremony solve it.
• Hair. Tell whoever is doing your hair which veil you have, and bring it to the trial. A comb needs something to grip; a very sleek style may need pins added specifically.
• Sitting down. A long veil has to be gathered before you sit, or you will pin yourself in place. Whoever is helping you should practise this once.
• Photographs. Veils are the single most useful prop a wedding photographer has, and they will ask for it. It is worth keeping it on until the formal photographs are done.
• Dancing. Almost nobody keeps a long veil past the meal. Decide where it goes when it comes off, or it will spend the evening on a chair.

On cost, a veil is one of the few bridal items where the second-hand market is genuinely good, because most are worn once and stored carefully. Expect roughly half price, and check the comb rather than the tulle.

Plenty of brides do not, and the reasons divide into three groups.

The meaning. If the associations with modesty or ownership sit badly with you, that is a sufficient reason on its own, and it does not require a justification to anybody. The alternative of wearing one from the back of the head with no face covering is a middle path many people take.

The practicality. Outdoor weddings, beaches, small ceremonies and anything involving a lot of movement all argue against a long veil.

The look. Some dresses are finished by a veil and some are interrupted by one. A high-necked or heavily detailed back is usually the second case.

The alternatives are extensive: a flower crown, a comb or hairpins, a headband, a jacket or cape, a hat at a register office wedding, or nothing at all. A cape in particular has become a common substitute because it gives the same movement behind you without the face-covering history.

If you are unsure, try a veil on with the dress before deciding rather than in isolation. Most bridal shops will let you, and the answer is usually obvious within a minute. One more thing worth settling early is who holds it. A veil that comes off after the photographs needs somewhere to go, and a person named in advance to take it there, or it spends the evening folded over the back of a chair in a room nobody is using.

And if you are keeping the dress and the veil quiet before the day, the details worth publishing for guests are the ones about timings and the venue rather than the outfit, which is what a wedding website is genuinely useful for.